Dear Silent Observer, Why didn’t you speak up? Did you not want to get involved? Did you think I could handle myself, did you think she could handle herself? Did you think the cat calling from the stranger was innocent? Would you find it to be innocent if she was 13 instead of 18 and would it still be innocent if she was your mother, your sister, your daughter? Six degrees of separation isn’t enough to buy your concern? Too many men let this go on. Many men condemn their own sexes behavior in quiet conversation but its funny how conversation rarely leads to action. When I go to the store, or work, or the gas station I do not need an opinion on how I look from a stranger and I most definitely do not need his continued disgusting remarks after I said “Fuck off” and I do not need his nauseating stare and I do not need to look up at you, Silent Observer, and wonder why you say nothing. Who are you? I wonder. I can see you are as uncomfortable as me. I can see that you seem upset with what he’s saying but still you say nothing. You do not realize it but your silence is as dangerous as the words coming from the harasser’s mouth. The silence creates a sound of its own. The sound says “what you are doing is okay. It is not wrong.” Do you have daughters? Or worse, do you have sons? Are they as silent as you? Or do they harass women on the street?
Dear fathers, dear brothers, dear husbands, dear boyfriends and fiances, dear mean in uniform, men in leadership, and men who lead congregations. Dear men who are supposed to be there whenever we are being harmed or abused. Not because you are men and we are women. But because we are humans living in this world together. Where are your guts? Where are your words? Where is your anger and if you have any then why don’t you speak it out loud. There is a crisis in America. Too many women are likely to victims of sexual assault, harassment or rape in their life.Let me rephrase that… Too many of your daughters, your wives, your nieces, your sisters, and your mothers are likely to be victims of sexual assault, harassment or rape. When people make rape jokes you stay silent. When women are harassed on the street you remain quiet. Why is it so god damn hard to speak up? What will you lose by saying something? Will the attention be uncomfortable? But will it make you as uncomfortable as the woman being harassed? Is your temporary unease not worth her safety? Why don’t you say something when your friends make rape jokes? Would you even say something if they actually raped someone? You men have the opportunity to make a difference. You have the opportunity to make the world better for the women in your lives. And women in general. Why don’t you take that chance?
Dear young teenage boy with a bunch of douchebag friends, Screw them. Forget them. They aren’t your friends. You don’t need friends that joke about raping women and you don’t need friends that talk about women like cattle instead of people. And you defiantly don’t need friends that cat call and harass women on the streets because you are better then that. Don’t be afraid to stand up to them. I know why you’re scared to call them our on rape jokes and cat calls. Its the same reason you don’t call them out of gay jokes either. Because that makes you gay. But who fucking cares? if recognizing a horrible crime like rape isn’t something to joke about makes you gay then you should be damn proud to be gay. You don’t need ignorant people in your life. They will distract you from the important things in life, they will blur your concept of reality.
Dear Oppressor, You are harming women. You are creating an environment that is dangerous to all women. We often hear things like, “Don’t walk to you car at night… or make sure you park under a street light or maybe don’t go anywhere when its dark outside. make sure you have mace, you should probably take a self defense class. Maybe you should think about buying an actual gun. Maybe you should always have a friend with you, but not a female friend. But make sure its a male friend you can trust because the rapist is often someone the woman knows. Make sure that you have a rape whistle and scream really loud if you see someone. Make sure you always cover your drink when you are out and pick a local bar so you know the layout in case you have to escape from someone. Don’t drink to much and don’t wear revealing clothing. Always tell someone where you are and keep them updated in case you are kidnapped. That way the police have an idea of where you were last. But the best way to prevent rape or assault is to not be a woman at all.” You, oppressor have contributed to this society. You have made the very existence of being a women fearful to most of us and I’m sorry that the fact that I don’t want to have to walk to my car with my keys between my fingers in case someone comes out and tries to assault me ruins your cushy worry free life. I get it, maybe you don’t care because it hasn’t happened to someone you know or love. But change it before it does happen. You can help prevent these things, Oppressor. Or what most people know you as, Silent Observer.
Beauty on a Budget 